Usually, most people do not expect to be betrayed, but when it happens, it can be especially jarring coming from a partner. Partnerships are supposed to be one of the most stable and trustworthy relationships a person can maintain, and recovering from a breach of trust in a partnership may take a significant amount of time.
For some, healing after being betrayed isn’t even imaginable, but individual therapy can help make this a reality. Whether an individual wants to continue toward the future on a strong foundation or they cannot seem to get past the emotional weight of the betrayal, therapy is a valuable tool.
Recovery takes time, but most anyone can come out on the other side as a more vibrant person with a strong, healthy approach to future relationships. Here are some steps to take for healing after being betrayed by a partner.
Acknowledge the Betrayal
Before a person can heal from betrayal, they must first acknowledge that the betrayal occurred. Trying to rationalize the other person’s behavior or minimize its impact prevents the individual from acknowledging the true pain caused by the event and allowing them to grieve as a result. The process of transitioning from grief to acceptance is a foundational step in the healing process.
Seek Professional Counseling
Once the individual has acknowledged the betrayal for what it truly is, they are able to bring it to a professional for individual therapy. A therapist can help to deconstruct the events to learn more about how an individual can build stronger, safer relationships in the future. They can also direct them toward different methods of processing the grief, anger, and hopelessness they may be experiencing due to the events that their partner caused.
Establish Boundaries
Being betrayed by a partner is not the victim’s fault, but establishing strong boundaries can help to safeguard a person from betrayal in the future. Boundaries set clear expectations for all parties involved in the relationship and prevent one partner from taking advantage of the other.
A therapist is an invaluable tool in discovering one’s own boundaries and sharing them within the confines of a relationship. From creating boundaries that are reasonable to discovering how to explain them, a therapist can help to create healthy boundaries.
Take Care of Yourself
After a betrayal, the emotional weight of the situation can feel heavy and profound. People should not forget to take care of themselves during this time. Simple self-care, such as remembering to drink water and get a few deep breaths of fresh air, can play a significant role in soothing the brain and body.
Other options for taking care of oneself following a partner’s betrayal include:
- Eating nutritious meals (if a person does not have the energy to prepare food themselves, consider ordering it)
- Incorporating movement (going to the gym may seem like too much, but even walking to the mailbox can do a lot of good)
- Getting enough sleep
- Enjoying activities that bring joy (such as a hobby)
Model Trust in Healthy Relationships
A partner’s betrayal can make a deep cut, especially if it was unexpected. During recovery, it is normal to feel as though it is impossible to trust anyone. However, it is likely that an individual has many trustworthy relationships in their lives, and modeling trust and reliance in these relationships can serve as a starting point for recreating this strong bond in other relationships going forward. Creating trust is a process that takes time; if someone is not sure what that looks like, a therapist can help.
Engage the Physical Side of Recovery
Betrayal can feel like an emotional weight, but the body is also responding to the breach of trust. Individuals may have headaches or feel tense and tired. Part of recovery includes helping the body to recover as well as the mind. The nervous system is responsible for taking care of the body by controlling its survival mode, including the fight or flight response.
A betrayal can result in hypervigilance, and participating in activities that soothe the nervous system can have significant and tangible results. Try:
- Yoga
- Art (painting, crocheting, writing, etc.)
- Music (either listening or creating)
- A bath or long shower
You Can Heal After Being Betrayed by a Partner Through Individual Therapy
Healing from betrayal is possible and requires individuals to commit to restoring both their minds and bodies after the traumatic incident. A therapist can help you rebuild trust gradually, whether with the same partner or in future relationships. By setting boundaries and learning from the experience, a person can become more equipped to handle the ups and downs of relationships, both past and present.
The professionals at Village Counseling are always happy to offer individual therapy to help you cope with betrayal and move through this difficult time. Brighter days are on the horizon; contact Village Counseling to schedule a therapy session.