Relationships come in many shapes and sizes, and long-distance relationships are one option. People who do not occupy the same physical space can face additional, exclusive challenges tied to building and maintaining a strong partnership. However, long-distance does not necessarily mean that a relationship must be temporary or doomed to failure.
Couples therapy can provide a powerful foundation for a successful long-distance relationship for years to come. Couples may not even know what elements of their relationship could use additional support, or they may already know where the LDR is interfering with their goals and plans.
Strategies such as improving communication, building trust, and setting shared goals can help to maintain a healthy, connected relationship. Couples therapists focus on these areas, assisting people who strive to stay connected with those they love, regardless of location.
What Qualifies as a Long-Distance Relationship?
A long-distance relationship does not necessarily have one single, set definition. It refers to any relationship in which both parties are separated by some distance that interferes with their ability to carry out the relationship as they otherwise would choose to.
Two parties who live in different countries but can visit each other within half an hour might not be an LDR, while couples separated by five hours of travel within the same country could be. Generally, a long-distance relationship is measured more by the frequency of in-person contact than by the hours or miles separating the two.
Because the two cannot get as clear a sense of their in-person relationship behaviors, and because some other behaviors (such as intimacy) will change due to that lack of contact, LDRs can face challenges to maintaining a strong relationship.
Why Couples Therapy Helps With LDRs
Couples therapy is one of the most important tools in the toolkit for long-distance relationships because it can help to work through issues that often bring individual perspectives during LDRs.
Communication
Communication is essential in any relationship, but strong communication skills are non-negotiable in LDRs. Communication, often via phone, text, or video calls, is the primary contact between the two. A couples therapist can help both parties understand how communication impacts their relationship.
For instance, suppose that two partners have selected a specific time of day each day to do a video call. As soon as the call starts each time, one partner begins describing all the frustrating things that happened during the day.
This can leave the other partner feeling unheard since they never get to speak first, and they can become conditioned to associate video calls with negative emotions since their partner only shares their frustrations first.
How often is communication reasonable? What types of communication are preferable? If a partner dislikes certain kinds of communication, is there a compromise? These types of questions can be answered in therapy.
Trust
Long-distance relationships can often suffer from trust issues since partners have much more freedom to conduct their own lives without input from their other half. Building trust through therapy helps ease anxieties and set clear expectations for what each member considers appropriate behavior in their absence.
Goals
It can be challenging for couples to understand what they want their lives to look like after they close the distance because they do not have as much experience being together. Who moves, and who stays? Do both move to a new location? How does each partner view the trajectory of their lives, and are these aligned with each other? Therapists can help couples consider these questions to make sure they are building toward a shared future, not as parallel lives.
Intimacy
For most long-distance relationships, one of the greatest pain points is intimacy. Lack of physical contact precludes physical touch, but this does not have to mean that intimacy (whether physical or emotional) cannot exist.
A couples therapist can share many strategies for keeping the spark alive and feeling connected, from developing shared sexual outlets to brainstorming activities and actions each partner can take to make their significant other feel loved, appreciated, and seen, even if they are halfway around the world.
Try Couples Therapy During Your Long-Distance Relationship
Studies show that couples therapy is a very successful way of strengthening relationships and mitigating adverse outcomes. This is especially important in long-distance relationships, which pose additional challenges that many partners are unsure how to handle.
The professionals at Village Counseling offer telehealth visits so that our services are available even to those who cannot attend in person. Contact Village Counseling to schedule your couples therapy appointment so you and your partner can embrace the vibrancy of your relationship regardless of the distance between you.