The human mind is complex, and trying to understand how each person in your life thinks can be an exercise in frustration. However, some types of behavior go beyond quirks or preferences and instead become recognizable conditions, such as narcissism. The good news is that individual therapy is a useful tool to address dealing with or recovering from narcissistic behaviors.
Let’s examine signs that you might be dealing with a narcissist, and look at how individual therapy can empower you to manage how these behaviors impact your life to foster personal growth, positive change, and healthier relationships.
What Is a Narcissist?
In short, a narcissist is someone who views themselves as more important than they are. They crave the attention of others—positive when possible, but negative attention often suffices, too. When they don’t feel like people are treating them with enough importance, they can become reactive, upset, or unfulfilled.
One of the most significant elements of narcissism is how the narcissist views themselves in relation to others. Because they have an inflated sense of self-importance, they may devalue other people or fail to put themselves in another’s shoes.
Signs Someone You Know Might Be a Narcissist
Narcissistic traits can vary, sometimes widely, from person to person. However, some of the most common behaviors that many narcissists share include:
Expectation of special treatment
- Narcissists believe that they are privileged and deserve other people’s undivided attention, praise, or special treatment.
- They may go into a restaurant that does not offer birthday deals and demand a special birthday discount because they believe they, and not others, truly deserve it.
- They may speak loudly in public places or over other participants in a conversation because they view themselves as special and are not concerned with how this behavior affects others.
Critical commentary
- People with narcissistic traits often engage critically or negatively with those they view as less important than them.
- For example, rather than assuming that a stranger with a stain on their shirt has accidentally spilled something and has not had the chance to clean it off yet, a narcissist may comment that the person is too poor to afford good clothing because they don’t work as hard as the narcissist does.
Failure to empathize
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others to understand how they feel.
- Narcissists struggle with this practice and may assign blame or criticism instead of trying to understand where someone is coming from.
- Some narcissists actually leverage empathy in order to get ahead, such as by being extra kind to older folks and children for the purpose of boosting their image.
Low threshold for criticism
If a person points out that a narcissist’s behavior is hurtful or problematic, even minor critiques can lead to meltdowns, shouting, or high levels of upset. They see and portray themselves as the victim in most cases, and it is difficult or impossible to convince them otherwise.
Careful curation of environment and people
Because of a narcissist’s view of their own importance, they tend to curate their friend groups and lifestyle carefully. They may only accept driving the best car or speaking with people who they deem to be appropriately wealthy, intelligent, or successful—like them. A narcissist will also focus on surrounding themselves with those they can easily manipulate for their benefit.
Exploitation
- Narcissists seek to maintain their power and leverage over other people so they can remain superior. Often, this requires exploitative behavior.
- A narcissist might use sensitive or emotional information about you to make you feel vulnerable and more compliant with their requests.
- They often struggle in relationships because they take advantage of their partners and chip away at their independence.
How Individual Therapy Helps Those Affected by Narcissism
Having a family member or friend with narcissistic traits can be a challenge, and you may not want to cut them out of your life completely—or maybe the damage is done, and you need to do some healing. Individual therapy can help you to cope with and understand their behavior in a healthy way so that it does not negatively impact your life.
Individual therapy can provide the following:
- Helps victims of a narcissist identify what’s driving the negative behavior—a sense of abandonment, fear of shame, a lack of control, or something else. This can help them understand how to engage with the person in the future.
- Establishes strong boundaries in relationships with a narcissist so that the victim does not continue to get hurt.
- Equips victims with the knowledge and safety they need to process their trauma and move on from the narcissist’s effects in their lives.
- Identifies thought patterns, such as self-doubt, inflicted by the narcissist and replaces them with more productive practices.
Cultivate Good Relationships with Individual Therapy
Individual therapy is a customized approach to an individual’s unique challenges, including those recovering from a relationship with a narcissist. While overcoming the thought patterns ingrained by exposure to narcissistic behavior can be challenging and requires dedicated effort, it is possible to learn how to establish strong boundaries.
The team at Village Counseling is always happy to help people struggling with the consequences of narcissistic abuse through individual therapy. Contact Village Counseling to schedule your therapy appointment.