When finding someone to talk to is complex, individual therapy provides a safe space to process life’s challenges. However, it can be challenging to broach a topic, even with a trusted therapist. Feelings of embarrassment or even shame can accompany some events or thoughts. This may lead to therapy patients avoiding specific issues, even when those topics need to be addressed.
Uncomfortable and embarrassing topics commonly arise in therapy; one might feel apprehensive about sharing personal information or thoughts. However, it is essential to understand that embarrassment does not serve you, the patient.
Overcoming it is the first step toward greater success in your growth. Here are some practical tips for addressing embarrassing topics in individual therapy, from trust and openness to the timing of disclosure.
Understand Where Embarrassment Comes From
For patients who are nervous about sharing with their therapist, taking a step back and considering where embarrassment comes from can be helpful. The emotion of embarrassment is the mind’s attempt to assimilate a person into their wider social group. By avoiding topics that could provoke an adverse reaction in others, the person maintains their social ties without conflict.
However, when it comes to therapy, there are a few flaws in this logic. Most likely, a therapist has already heard (multiple times from various patients) a story similar to yours. Even if they have not, their breadth of experience with other people, those demonstrating vulnerability about their most significant challenges, equips therapists with the discernment to receive embarrassing information without provoking that adverse reaction.
Similarly, the role of a therapist is to help, not to judge. What a patient is experiencing or thinking is real, and attempting to avoid it only does more harm than good. Therapists never seek to do harm, and so they are often eager to embrace even the most embarrassing information a patient can share.
Building Trust
For many patients, the initial hesitancy to share embarrassing topics comes from a lack of trust in a therapist. They fear that the therapist will react negatively, judge them, or even change how they treat the patient.
Patients and therapists who work together to build a bond of trust can create a secure space where no information is off-limits. This comes through time and vulnerability; the patient must be willing to share information about themselves, and the therapist must prove that they accept that information with grace and sensitivity, not judgment.
Developing Openness
As with building trust, patients must develop openness during their sessions. They can only work up to confidently sharing embarrassing topics if they are willing to be open about more minor things. Cultivating openness comes not just from sharing personal information but also from pushing back against the therapist when necessary.
A space for honesty is the basis for openness; patients who can say, “I’m not sure you understood my point” when a therapist makes a mistake are nurturing an open relationship where thoughts do not have to be filtered.
Disclosing Sensitive Information Gradually
As embarrassing topics come up in therapy, it can be helpful to address them slowly. An uncomfortable situation can seem less so when broken into pieces. For instance, a patient may share that something embarrassing happened in how they responded to a person, and they can state who that person was during one appointment. Then, in the next, they can explain what led to their behavior. Building up the story over multiple appointments can reduce the emotional discomfort.
Exploring Alternative Methods of Disclosure
Not all patients are comfortable with sitting and looking a therapist in the eyes while explaining an embarrassing story or thought. Consider other communication options and evaluate whether these strategies fit better. Writing down the events, sharing photos, or something else may be suitable replacements for storytelling via word of mouth.
Practicing at Home
One thing that can make a story feel embarrassing is not knowing how to frame the story and its information while speaking. Patients can often benefit significantly from practicing sharing their embarrassing information at home.
Try telling the story in the shower while no one is present. This allows the patient to decide which information should be presented, when, and what might be missing (or what can be excluded). Having told the story once, most patients find it easier to explain to a therapist later.
Don’t Be Embarrassed to Get Help!
Embarrassing things happen! There is no reason to be ashamed of these events. If they are causing you distress, individual therapy is an excellent way to work through the situation. Contact Village Counseling today to schedule your therapy appointment.