Contrary to popular belief, children attend therapy almost as often as adults. While 19.2% of adults have received mental health help from a professional, an impressive 13.6% of minors have also pursued mental health assistance. Given this, it is important for parents to consider how they can support their children’s pursuit of mental wellness, including how to get the most out of children’s therapy.
For many children, therapy can be overwhelming or uncomfortable, and they may be hesitant to participate. Helping a child open up in therapy can be challenging, but it is essential for their growth and healing.
Here are some practical tips for parents to create a supportive environment, build trust with a therapist, and encourage honest communication during children’s therapy.
Model Vulnerable Conversations
One of the most significant difficulties children face when attending therapy is being unsure of how to speak to a therapist. Even if they want to explain what is making them upset, stressed, or anxious, they may not be able to find the words; having a therapist looking directly at them while they flounder can be embarrassing or scary.
To help a child overcome this hurdle, model vulnerable conversations at home. This normalizes talking about personal issues so that the sense of embarrassment decreases over time. These conversations need not necessarily be about the child; try:
“Wow, [child], it was a busy day today! I’m feeling a little upset because I wanted to do more, but I ran out of time.”
Be sure to balance showing your own vulnerability with oversharing and making your emotions your child’s responsibility.
Explain Therapy Directly
Another reason children may clam up in the therapist’s office is that they are not sure what to expect. Are they supposed to wait for the therapist to ask them a question? What if they don’t know the answer? Parents should explain therapy in a direct manner appropriate for the child’s age.
For example, comparing therapy to a doctor, a patient goes to a doctor when they don’t feel good, and the doctor helps them to feel better. Similarly, a therapist is a doctor for the brain, and they can help someone feel better when they are experiencing uncomfortable emotions. It can also help to meet the therapist before the first appointment, and they can explain what they do.
Be Willing to Stay in the Room
Depending on the age of the child, a parent may be asked to sit in the room while the therapist conducts their work. This can do wonders for a shy child, as seeing a familiar face they trust reassures them that the space is safe. However, be sure to avoid cajoling the child or doing some of the therapy work for them. Simply be present with a smile.
Be Encouraging
When a child has completed a therapy session, they have succeeded, whether or not they shared anything with the therapist. Do not berate or criticize them for their failure to make progress. Instead, celebrate each small victory: that they attended, that they talked, or that they are willing to keep trying. When everything they do is positive, they are more likely to engage in further tasks (such as speaking more) to continue to receive praise.
Offer Opportunities for Discussion
Children often struggle to understand how the therapy they are attending is in any way related to what they are experiencing emotionally. Parents can help by offering opportunities for the child to share what happened in therapy. Consider modeling a similar conversation:
“It sounds like you did some interesting things with [therapist’s name] today!”
If the child shares details: “Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun!”
Framing the activities in a positive light can make the child more interested in engaging with them later, even if they do not say so directly. Suppose the child does not respond about anything that occurred in therapy. In that case, letting the statement linger in silence is all right.
When parents positively frame the child’s description of therapy activities, children are more willing to engage with things such as play therapy (and the talking that comes with it) with greater zeal.
Support Your Child During Therapy
Children may struggle to adapt to the questions and conversations that make up therapy. They might not answer the therapist or be unwilling to engage with other forms of expression, such as play. Parents can help ease this tension and encourage their child to open up by modeling open conversations, encouraging the child, and being present. Contact Village Counseling today to schedule a children’s therapy appointment and meet our friendly therapists!